When “How was school?” gets a shrug: A body check-in for teens

Orland Park Counselors · Featuring Mia C. Jones

You pick your teen up after school. Their backpack lands on the floor, the car door shuts a little harder than usual, and you ask, “Everything okay?” They say, “I’m fine.” Ten minutes later, while you’re debating where to get fries, they tell you lunch was rough. What changed? Sometimes a person needs a little time, a familiar face, and something easier to answer than “How do you feel?”

Start with the moment your shoulders drop

Think about what happens when a friend saves you a seat. Maybe you let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. That small shift is worth noticing. A body check-in can start with relief, amusement, or the comfort of sitting next to someone who knows you. You can practice it on an ordinary good day.

A check-in you can try on the ride home

If you’re the passenger, feel where the seat supports your back. Pick one other place to notice, such as your hands. Are you gripping your phone? Are your fingers resting loosely? Choose a word that fits what you actually feel: tight, warm, heavy, restless. “I can’t tell” counts, too.

Then ask yourself, “When did I first notice that today?” Maybe your hands tightened before a presentation. Maybe it happened when you saw who was sitting at lunch. A sensation won’t tell you exactly what it means. It can give you a place to start. You might say, “My stomach got tight when I walked into the cafeteria. Can I tell you what happened?” Or you might decide you’d rather listen to music for a while.

For parents: leave room for the answer

If your teen shares one detail, resist the urge to ask five more questions. Try, “Do you want me to listen, help you figure something out, or give you a little quiet?” Then follow their lead. If focusing inward feels uncomfortable, skip the exercise. Talking side by side, taking a walk, or noticing what’s around you are other ways to spend that moment together.

Meeting with Mia C. Jones

You don’t have to arrive at counseling with a neat explanation. “I get tense walking into school, and I’m not sure why” is enough for a first conversation. Mia C. Jones works with children, teens, adults, couples, and families. She is a graduate counseling intern at National Louis University and practices under the supervision of Tim Jenkins, LCPC. Appointments are available in Orland Park, in Oak Lawn, and online.

Book an appointment with Mia C. Jones

Book on our webpage. If our FAQ leaves you with questions, call (708) 275-0934.